A Twisted Way To Tell An Apocalyptic Story
by madameHunterr
Summary: My boyfriend, Matt, and I decided to do a little rhyming and make up a story for the L4D2 characters. This was the hilarious outcome. (Warning: contains strong language)


**Author's Note: So my boyfriend, Matt, and I decided to do a little rhyming and make up a story for the L4D2 characters. This was the hilarious outcome. **

**I am, of course, † ;;[madameHunterr]; and Matt is Templar, because he's the Templar to my awesome Assassin complex LOL!**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

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† ;;[madameHunterr];: Scientists made a deadly virus, but called it a 'flu'.

Templar: People started dying and had no clue.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: And then rose again and tried to eat you.

Templar: But now there's only four and they know what to do.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Nick, Ellis, Coach and Rochelle will fight until they get rescued.

Templar: Hunters, Spitters, Jockeys and Tanks all clustered. Get ready; here comes the horde to test you.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: But every ten minutes, every time she fell, one of the men had to help Rochelle.

Templar: "Fuck it," said Nick. "I don't really care. Just leave her ass here, the safe room is right there."

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "I suppose Nick's right," Ellis added. "She'd be a good distraction...and I'd love to see the bitch's reaction."

Templar: And Coach said, "whoa man, I'll take that bet! Ten bucks says they turn her into fish net."

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "Wait a minute!" Rochelle spoke up, "don't I get a say?" "NO!" The three yelled. Then Nick pointed to the direction of the safe room, "You stay here, we'll go that way."

Templar: "You can't leave me here, I'll bleed out and die!" she pleaded and cried. But Nick said, "No, it's ok. Your brain is already paralyzed, some people are rather stupid but man, you're plain dumb. It's sad that now, you're the only _one_. "

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "Well watching her scream is rather fun..." said Ellis, "Fine..." Nick said, helping her up and pointed the gun at her saying, "Rochelle, run."

Templar: As she ran screaming, the zombies chased her. You would never think it possible; zombies and laughter.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "Ahh..." Nick sighed. "It's nice to just finally walk..." just as he tripped over a rock.

Templar: Nick fell on his face and the two men laughed. Then nick said, "if that door is locked, I'm kicking your ass."

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Nick pulled on the locked door, and then onto the floor he sank. "Uh...Nick?" Ellis said, "Get up...here comes a tank!"

Templar: Nick stood fast and he was ready to go. It's a damn shame he ran out of ammo.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "Quick! Stand here!" Nick said, "and when the tank comes at you, move out of the way; he'll knock the door through!"

Templar: "Okay!" Ellis says with a smile on his face. "I'm too smart for that tank to make, a pancake out of me!"

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Just then, the tank smashed Ellis into the door and it flung open. "Ouch!" Ellis yelled, "that fucked up my knee!"

Templar: Coach looked at Ellis. "Bitch please, your knee? I've got broken bones everywhere. Where is my sympathy?"

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Then Nick cut between them, "why don't you both be quiet and shove your 'sympathies' up your ass?! Here comes a jockey acting high on grass."

Templar: The Jockey came quickly, he jumped up real fast. Ellis' face looked like he got it in the ass.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "Get this thing off me!" "WGHNNN!" the Jockey went. To Jockeys, Ellis was Heaven sent.

Templar: Nick screamed, "Wait, I have an idea!" he took a bat and thought a great deal. He reared the bat ready to go, and then beat his legs out. Stood silent for a second and then said, "oops…my bad bro."

† ;;[madameHunterr];: With Ellis and the Jockey now on the floor, the Jockey nearly humped Ellis to death, stopped after another "WGHNNN!" then left. Nick said, "there he goes..."

Templar: Ellis laid on the floor battered and beaten. "I've been scarred. I've been messed with. I feel defeated." Then Coach said to him, "its okay, son. You're still alive…who knows what you have now, but you'll survive"

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Then Nick spoke, "and think about it Ellis, it's like it told you that you were a good fuck. Even though it made you quack like a duck..."

Templar: Ellis screamed, "it's not funny! Getting fucked in the face is so unlucky!" But Ellis knew it was a fact. He got fucked in the face and there was no going back.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Then Nick said, "you know what this situation lacks? A horde of zombies and an axe for Ellis to hack."

Templar: Ellis bounced back up. "A horde of zombies and an axe?! Sounds like fun, but where's the party at?"

† ;;[madameHunterr];: "I guess they're all hiding out" Coach voiced, "but when they come, they'll be like a sewer full of rats..."

Templar: "I guess we'll have to wait," said Nick. "No forget that. I've got a bile bomb here, so everybody step back." As nick got ready to throw the boomer bile, a Smoker came in with a mean looking smile.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: Out with it and around Nick's torso. "Shoot the tongue! Shoot the tongue!" he cried but Ellis got taken by a charger and lost the gun while Nick complained, "this fucking thing is crushing my lungs!"

Templar: Coach turned towards nick and yelled, "I got this, don't worry! I'm good at this shit!" Coach had just _one_ shot; enough to save Nick. But unfortunately for Coach, there was a Hunter. He was such a dick.

† ;;[madameHunterr];: POUNCE! Down went Coach and in came Spitter. Spat right there, she felt like a winner. That didn't last though, since Nick killed her. But Coach was dead and Ellis...well he was a goner. "Why am I the only one left?" Nick thought out loud. "CAUSE I'M TOO BOSS TO BE ZOMBIE DINNER!"

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**So what do you think of our retardation? Read&Review!**

†[ˌ.·´¯`·˟·._.ɱɑɗɑɱɛҢʊϰʈɘгг._.·˟·´¯`·.ˌ]


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